Movie Review - "Star Trek: The Motion Picture"

Movie review number 36

PLOT

This movie starts with three Klingon Warbirds intercepting a Very Large Cloud Thing  (VLCT) in space and trying to destroy it.  Their photon torpedoes have no effect, and disappear into the VLCT and then the Klingons get attacked and consumed by the VLCT.
Meanwhile on planet Vulcan, Spock (Leonard Nimoy) is undergoing the Kohlinahr ceremony as he had reputedly achieved total logic.  However at the last moment, he stops proceedings as his mind has contacted the VLCT and he then knows his destiny lies elsewhere.  The ceremony ends.

Back on Earth Admiral Kirk (William Shatner) is on his way to see the Big Chief to get himself in charge of the Starship Enterprise which is currently in spacedock undergoing an upgrade.  Scotty the Engineer (James Doohan) drives him to the ship in a little shuttlepod gizmo, and the Captain eventually finds his way to the Bridge to meet the rest of the crew.  From there, he goes to Engineering to speak to Captain Will Decker (Stephen Collins) to tell him that he's not in charge any more, because Kirk's taken over because he's heard about the VLCT and wants to catch it. Decker is a bit pissed off but can't do anything to prevent it.  They later learn of a Space Station which has now being intercepted by the VLCT and the crew of the Enterprise witness the Space Station's destruction, and then depart to intercept..... but not before the arrival of the last crew member to step onboard ship - Deltan Ilya (Persis Khambatta - since sadly died) who had previously had a failed relationship with Decker.
On the way to the VLCT, another space shuttle gizmo arrives at the ship and asks for docking permission.  The shuttle contains Spock, direct from Vulcan...... who then joins the crew as Science Officer for the remainder of the trip.
They then encounter the VLCT which sends them a message....... and when that's not replied to, it starts photon torpedoeing the ship!!!  The Enterprise then works out the message is in binary and sends a friendly reply....... and a while later, they get a plasma probe on board the ship which starts downloading all the information from the computers!!!  Spock smashes a computer console to stop the probe and gets a few nasty electric shocks in response.  Then Ilya gets a bunch of electric shocks...... and then suddenly disappears as does the plasma probe!!!  OH NOOO!!!
Then the intruder alert goes off on deck five, and Kirk & Spock rush down to find out what's going on.  They find Ilya in the shower in her old cabin...... except it isn't Ilya!!!  It's a mechanised computer probe version of Ilya to interact easier with the Carbon Infestation on the ship whilst collecting information prior to the Carbon Infestation being reduced to data information units.  Decker is told to show the Ilya probe around the ship to assist in collecting information.  In the meantime, the ship is tractor beamed inside the VLCT and continues on their way back to earth.
On arrival in Earth Orbit, Ilya then states that the VLCT is actually called Vger and has arrived to join with the Creator, and eliminate the Carbon Infestation on Earth.  Vger has sent a message to the Creator which is not answered (the Creator doesn't use the same speech patterns!) so Vger sends plasma bombs into Earths orbit - and Kirk says he knows why the Creator hasn't answered!!!!  But Kirk won't tell Ilya the answer until the plasma bombs have been removed, and THEN insists on tell Vger directly instead of Ilya!!!
Kirk, Spock, McCoy, Decker and Ilya then go to the centre of the Vger cloud..... and discover it's actually the Voyager 6 probe sent from Earth by NASA 300 years previously to collect all information in the Universe and then return to transmit the information to The Creator..... which was the Carbon Infestation on Earth..... and the message was sent to the Creator by radiowaves which are no longer in use!!!
The very end of the movie shows .......... I'm not going to tell you but the Earth doesn't get blown to pieces!!!

RECOMMENDED
Yes..... not the strongest of Star Trek movies, but a good yarn nevertheless.

SCORE
6 squeaks out of 10

SCOOBY SNACKS
Neon green lime jelly with sprinkles on top.