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Tuesday 24 September 2013

Movie Review - "Taras Bulba"

Movie review number16

PLOT
This movie starsYul Brynner as the Chief of a Cossack Tribe on the Stepps of the Ukraine (or it might be Russia!!) and Tony Curtis as one of his sons.  It starts with the Cossacks joining forces with the Polish to kick out the Turkish Ottoman empire from the Stepps.  The Cossacks win, but the Polish take over the Stepps instead and really piss off the Cossacks.  The Cossacks then emigrate from the Stepps to make little villages all over the place because they don't want to be under Polish Rule.  The Polish then open their Universities to the Cossacks to try and make friends with them and Taras Bulba (Yul Brynner) sends his two sons (one of which is Tony Curtis) to the Polish University to try and infiltrate their politics.  The two brothers immediately get picked on by the Polish students, and taken in for whippings by the Priest professors.
Tony Curtis then catches sight of a Pretty Polish Girl (Christine Kaufmann) who is the daughter of one of the Top Officials of the town.  They fall in love....... except Christine's brother finds out and really hates it because Tony Curtis is a Cossack, enemy of the Polish.  Christine's brother is also a student in the university, and he picks a fight with Tony Curtis & HIS brother...... except Tony Curtis wins the fight by accidentally killing Christine's brother!!!  OH NOOOOO!!!
Tony Curtis and his brother escape the Polish town by the skin of their teeth (getting wounded in the meantime) and ride their horses all the way back to the Cossack village.  Taras Bulba finds that Tony Curtis is injured, and declares war on the Polish in revenge.  Loads and Loads of Cossacks join the fight, and they end up surrounding the Polish town, preventing any food getting in.  The Polish they start starving, and the Bubonic Plague breaks out inside the town!!
Tony Curtis breaks into the Polish village to try and smuggle Christine Kaufman out but he gets caught, and they want to burn Christine Kaufman at the stake for helping a Cossack!!!  Tony says no, if I help you get food, will you let her go?  And they agree.  Trouble is, when Tony Curtis gets out of the town, Taras Bulba finds him..... AND SHOOTS HIM!!!!  OH NOOOOOO!!!
There's also a mad horse chase at the end when half the cossacks get bored waiting outside the Polish village and bugger off home, but then the Polish escape and chase after the remaining Cossacks, but then the first lot of Cossacks hijack them..... WHAT HAPPENS??????
You'll have to watch the movie!!
(Ed's note: This movie was filmed in Argentina, and it's where Tony Curtis met Christine Kaufman for the fisrt time, just as his marriage to Janet Leigh was falling to bits.  Tony and Christine later married in real life)

RECOMMENDED
Yeah, this is a good movie to watch on a wet Sunday afternoon!!

SCORE 
Beanie says 7 squeaks out of 10!!

RECOMMENDED SCOOBY SNACKS
Barbecue'd sausages!!  And Beans too if you want to fart a lot!

3 comments:

  1. We have never heard of this movie! We'll have to see it. We bet the snack suggestion will especially please Bob T. Bear, although poor Dilly will have to suffer if Bob eats too many sausages...

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  2. Haven't you?! Oh, it's a good movie, this one!! We've watched it a few times now! It's a "cooking on the camp fire" movie!!

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  3. Wow... never heard of this movie either! Heard of the actors though... sounds exciting!

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