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Saturday, 24 August 2013

Movie Review - "The Vikings"

Movie review number 15

This movie stars Janet Leigh as an English Princess, and Tony Curtis, Kirk Douglas and Ernest Borgnine as Maurauding Vikings!!
Ernest is "Dad" and TC and KD are - unknowingly - half brothers.  It starts with a Viking raid on northern England, leaving the King dead and the Queen raped by the Viking Chief, Ernest.  The Kings nearest relative takes over the Kingdom, not knowing that the Queen is pregnant.  Nine months later, the baby is put on a ship bound for Italy with monks to keep him safe - the baby is given a stone from the handle of the King's Sword, on a piece of cord worn as a necklace.
Many years later, in the Viking fjords....... Ernest Borgnine, the Chief and Kirk Douglas, Chief's son, plan a raid on England.  One of the English lords has been banished to Norway after annoying the new King  and helps draw maps of England for the raid.   KD shows him round the Viking village and then shows off his "Killer Attack Bird" - which turns out to be a bit of a wimp.  They then see another "Killer Attack Bird" that really DOES attack and kill, and it belongs to Tony Curtis.  KD accuses TC of stealing the bird, so TC has the bird attack KD and it takes one of his eyes out!  TC is then sentenced to death.  During sentencing, TC's necklace is ripped off and the English Lord recognises the stone as coming from the English King's sword.... and realises who TC really is!!!  TC is then sentenced to death by drowning, except the wind starts up and the tide changes so he doesn't drown at all!!!
 Anyway, the Raid On England is planned to kidnap Princess Janet Leigh, who is about to be married off to the horrid new English King.  KD takes a boat over and does a successful kidnapping of Princess Janet and brings her back to the Viking village.... and then both he and TC fall in love with Princess Janet!  TC then plans a reverse kidnapping and takes Princess Janet back to England...... but Kirk D discovers the escape and there's a big chase across the sea!  King Ernest's boat crashes in the fog, but TC drags him out of the sea and takes him to England, where he's pushed into a pit of hungry wolves and eaten alive.  Tony C has his arm cut off by the king for giving King Ernest a sword so he can die like a true Viking.
Meanwhile back at the Viking village, everyone thinks King Ernest drowned.  Kirk D wants to do another raid on England but nobody will go with him.  All of a sudden, Tony Curtis arrives back at the Viking village and tells them what really happened, and then everyone joins the new raid on England to kill the english King that killed the Viking King.
Meanwhile back in England, Princess Janet is told who Tony C really is - half brother to Kirk D and heir to the English Throne!!!  When the maurauding Vikings arrive back at the castle, Kirk decides to go get the Princess and tells her he's madly in love with her.  Princess says I'm in love with Tony C and actually he's your brother.  Kirk and Tony have a sword fight at the end on top of the castle - but who will win the Princess???!

Yeah, this is a really good yarn!! (that means it's a really good story!!)

Beanie gives this 7 squeaks out of 10!

Boiled eggs and soldiers.
(those are toasted bread, with butter on top and then cut into "fingers"!!)


  1. Sounds like a bloodthirsty swashbuckler of a movie that would have me hiding under a pillow half the time!

  2. We haven't seen this film, but it looks good! We like the soldiers food recommendation too--that is a new term for us.

  3. Ah!! Well, the idea is that you dip the "soldiers" toast fingers into the boiled egg and then eat them!! Very English!!